A Break-up Letter To Sugar
Dear Sugar,
I know I’ve been distant lately, and we don’t even have our daily meals every two hours like we use too, so I figured I at least owed it to you to explain why I’ve been acting the way I have. I’ve just gotten tired of all of the ups and downs that result whenever we get together.
I want to have a healthier relationship, with somebody more stable and beneficial for me to develop as a person. Our hookups just feel like empty affairs to me, and I need more than that – I need something nourishing.
I use to believe that it was normal for me to feel like a zombie whenever you were gone, and to pass out from exhaustion soon after we got together. But I don’t want to feel like that anymore. I’d rather just feel good all of the time, and not feel so crappy if I didn’t get to see you the whole day. That kind of dependence just isn’t healthy.
You say that I’m a different person now but I’m not, really. I suppose I do feel a lot different, since I’m not as cranky as I use to be. My friends say I look different, and have lost weight, but it’s not like I was really trying to. I think it just melted away like a weight off my shoulders once we stopped seeing each other and the stress from that was gone.
And stop trying to accuse me of cheating on you with Fat. It’s not like I wasn’t friends with her while we were together! I just needed something to fill the hole in my life that you use to occupy, and Fat was there when I needed her. When we’re together, I feel great, I feel content. I’m not sure where it will lead, but Fat isn’t as bad as everybody says, that’s just baseless gossip – so please stop all of the trash talking.
Besides, it’s not like you won’t find somebody else to fall hopelessly in love with you. Everybody likes you, with that addictive personality you have. I admit it, there are even times when I miss you – but it’s over. It will be best if I just move on, and don’t leave myself open to temptation. We had some good times together, but this is it. Have a nice life Sugar, you won’t be a part of mine.
~ DC
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This is getting forwarded to my fiancee…she had a Captain Crunchberry headache last night.
.-= Fitz´s last blog ..How to Go From a 17-00 5k Runner to a 2-25 Marathoner- Lessons From an All-American =-.
Awesome. I second this breakup!
and I third Clynton’s second!
Ha-ha. That is pretty damn funny stuff.
EXCELLENT POST!!!! so eloquent. really, this is amazing, thank you for sharing!
Well done – spot on!
This is fantastic! I am a middle school science teacher, and besides learning more and more about the Paleo lifestyle myself, I am trying to get my students to become critical thinkers about their diets. I used your letter in a lesson today to guide some open ended questions.
Thank you
Brittany, that’s awesome! Thanks for letting me know.
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That was so freaking clever!
No break up sex now ya hear!